There's a fine line separating something from another.

Say, there's a fine line between protective and possessive.
Between confidence and pride.
Humility and inferiority.
Determination and stubbornness.
Innocent longing and insatiable lust.

In this blog post, I am treading on a very thin line between innocent longing and insatiable lust.
There are some things I really wish to do - things that make me all tingly and excited over. Things that, when I think of them, my heart would race and my soul deep within would be stirred.

Of course, an irrational obsession with these things would lead to insatiable lust but I'll be careful and stick to just an innocent longing.

Here, I present to you the 3 things I long to do. (And hopefully I can!)

#1 To go on a long backpack graduation trip to Europe with my Lumix LX3 camera (soon to be mine!) by my side and snap, snap, snap at everything beautiful and quaint.

#2 To go to Kinokuniya or Borders and buy up the countless books that I want to read. Even if I don't have the time to read, I just want to buy and keep them and put them on a huge shelf for my own library.
For starters, I would grab Anne Rice's "Christ the Lord - The Road to Cana" (I was captivated by the way Rice wrote of Jesus being tempted by Satan), JRR Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy, Jodi Piccoult's "My Sister's Keeper", Neil Gaiman's "Fragile Things", Paulo Coelho's "Veronika Decides to Die" and Randy Pausch's "The Last Lecture".

#3 To be able to buy a house that has a quiet and breezy prayer room, a really sleek entertainment room, a spacious kitchen with a long island table in the middle (so that Mom and Godma can come over and cook up a storm. I wouldn't mind being Jamie Oliver if I had a nice kitchen) and of course, a room dedicated as my personal library, complete with huge wooden shelves.
Maybe I can go to Thailand to build this house. Hee.

Dreams are free.
I long for them but I will not allow them to be the main reasons I live my life.
I probably wish for beautiful things because I am (and all of us are) created to love all things beautiful, just like God.

But I know that ultimately, these things will not be able to satisfy me even if I got them.

Why?
Because we are made to desire something much more, something that is forever, something that will never die, a promise that we can hold on to - returning to our eternal home in heaven.

***
I feel silly worrying about little episodes in my life, and in the end, miss out on the greater story that God is slowly weaving in the world.

But well, thank you God for giving me a good time today teaching the little ones, Bliss and Zest for their mission trip. Bliss was surprisingly absorbent. Thanks to God (and also to the sweets I brought)!