I wonder how is it like to further my studies in Biology or Chemistry. They were the only non-Arts I enjoyed in secondary school and I had pretty good grades for them in O's.

Or, perhaps, I could have studied Business, find a nice job in HR or marketing or accountancy, and earn a good living.

You know, sometimes, I wish I wasn't an Arts student.

Don't get me wrong. I am enjoying what I am studying but it's just that the content is making me so cynical, critical and helpless.

Because as an Arts student, I have so many ideas exploding in my mind all the time, ideas that aspire to break free from the system of things, ideas that would challenge dominant beliefs in society.

Yet, I find myself unwittingly sucked into THE SYSTEM, the norms and practices of the society.
And the worse thing is, I can't do much about it.

Would life have been easier if I were to stop having these ideas which results from a lot of reading about ideals from philosphers, sociologists?

And probably, studied something that just allowed me to discover the wonders of nature, instead of the gross inequalities of the world?

I am looking back, and wondering, if I had chosen the alternative path, would life have been easier?

Life would probably be simpler. I would be satisfied with The System, since I am part of it and it is rewarding me well. Ideas to change it would not exist.

The Arts student is placed in a position where we look at The System from the third-person point of view, which is deeply disengaging, as if I don't belong to it. The more I know how The System works, the more I detest its practices.

Sigh. I don't like it when I get into these serious contemplation modes.
Blame it on the dreary weather.

Okay, back to studying.

But before that, think I ought to seek God first. He has the answers about what I should do with my deep thoughts.