This is my Ah Ma. She is 80 years old this year but she often likes to say that she is 81. This picture shows her plucking beansprouts early in the morning.

After suffering a fall about 4 or 5 years ago, her memory has been failing her. She tends to repeat her words and she finds it hard to remember names. Doubt she remembers my name. She just calls me Ah Girl, or recognise me by asking my mother if I am her (my mom's) daughter.

But one thing she never fails to do is to bless me with her words. I tried talking to her in my terrible Teochew but all I can do is to ask her whether she wants to watch TV or sleep, or bathe, or go to the toilet.

In the past year, she has been dropping by my house for one or a couple nights' stay. I see her sitting quietly sometimes in the morning, folding clothes or just sitting there, as if waiting for something. When we talk, she just sits there to listen and occasionally quips at the most awkward time.

Our family thinks she may be suffering from dementia and she doesn't know or recognise a lot of things. But I look her staring into blank space, I imagine her to be in her own world, yet not detached from the real world.
She probably knows a lot of things that's going on around her. She is aware. She must be thinking.

Maybe, her staring into space, her quiet waiting is an ingenious way to gain the unspoken peace amidst the many family problems and idle chatter around her.

Labels: family

My professor talked about verbal communication last week and mentioned that even names can make an impression on others.

He showed us the top 10 most popular girls' and boys' names in Singapore.

Surprisingly, "Esther" was in the top 10!

I thought Esther was a very traditional name... Nobody exactly wants to be associated with traditional. Many parents want funky names like Chloe, Tessa or _____ (insert own made-up name that sounds really cheem/exotic/cool) So was really pleasantly surprised that Singaporean parents want to name their girls Esther.

10 most popular girls' names (from babycenter.com.sg)
1. Chloe
2. Ashley
3. Faith
4. Nicole
5. Isabelle
6. Megan
7. Alyssa
8. Emma
9. Esther
10. Sara

Just scored another interview with another MP! Yay!

Phew. Need like a few more... Probably 5 or 6? But I am confident it is possible.

But 10,000 words for Graduation Project still loom ahead. 7 more weeks. Need to get interviews in before CNY!

May the Lord hold my hand, and that I will not let go of His, as I walk through this last lap of my education life. I will not worry about tomorrow for I know the Lord holds everything of tomorrow!

On a side note, I thank you Lord for the miracles for those Haiti survivors which I read on The Straits Times today. Amazing how tenacious humans can be when it comes to fighting for their very weak life.

P.S Something random: The new iPad... it really sounds like a sanitary napkin, doesn't it?

Labels: Graduation Project, thanksgiving

I was looking through my old pictures and found this interesting old picture of mine in the computer. This was me when I just entered secondary school, I think 10 years ago, before I had my braces...



I showed my mom this picture and she laughed heartily. She realised how *ahem* I looked then. But you know what she told me? At that point of time, she told me she never thought of me as second best or ugly. In her eyes, I was beautiful. (:

P/S I think I can have this picture as before and after ad for my orthodontist, Dr. Arthur Lim!

Labels: Of the past

Deren and I were discussing the frustration of being stuck in a system, that no matter what you say or do, people are not willing to take into consideration what you said and are still doing the same old things, as if what you said or do is futile.

So I shared the inspirational Starfish Story with him...

The Starfish Story Original Story by: Loren Eisley

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean. Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?” The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.”

“Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can’t make a difference!”

After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said… "I made a difference for that one."

After I briefly shared the story, here goes our conversation.

Me: So you know, whenever I feel frustrated about being stuck in some place where I can't do much, I'll just do whatever I can within my individual capacity.

Deren: Why must the guy pick up the starfishes one by one? Why can't he just use the bulldozer to pick the starfishes and throw them back into the sea?

Me: ........

This inspirational story just officially got massacred with his response :/

Shanghai cast a dry spell on me - spiritually.

I confess, I didn't do my Quiet Time (QT) over there as I forgot to bring my devotional booklet "Our Daily Journey" (okay, I know it is a lame excuse considering that I have the Bible in my mobile phone). Rather than spend time with God, I spent time slowly taking off my thick layers of winter clothes and lying on bed after a tiring day on the tour bus.

I was so spiritually dry that I got impatient, easily agitated and spoke with no wisdom.
I felt horrid too. Can't really explain how lah.

Then I realised how important Christian fellowship was to me when I went to church for service and prayer meeting. I was able to focus my energies on knowing God and His word. And I got back my momentum to do QT and I was once again refreshed by His word. It is like drinking a cup of sparkling 100Plus after a long run without water!

My nainai, while on the Shanghai trip, told me that her pots of plants withered when she was away for about 10 days once. Interestingly, these plants only withered on one side. On the other side, where the plants get exposed to the outside, dew managed to sustain the plant, so it survived. The plants were hanging on for their lives with the dew provided by nature.

But after my nainai returned from her 10-day trip, despite the plants being half-withered, she continued to water the plants faithfully. Amazingly, they grew healthy and flowered once again!

When she told me this incident, I was like... WOW!

When I came back to Singapore, only did I understand God's purpose for her telling me about her half-withered plants.

These plants were like my spiritual life. Withered... but only on one side. On the other side, God was providing the dew to sustain me through, giving me the desire to hang on. And after the real watering comes, when QT comes, I am restored fully once again (:

So, in the words of my church's 2010 Back-to-Basics focus - 你QT了吗?

Labels: Christianity; Quiet Time