it's over
the audition is finally over.
no, not to be the next singapore idol, star idol, supermodel... whatever.
i'm referring to the audition to sing in our church's worship cd.
who would have thought that such an audition would send haphazard motions to my nerves? and we thought that being in a church would bring peace and serenity - well, that's anything but when we were waiting for our turn in the sub-hall to meet the judges.

i find it hard to believe that i, esther chang, the critic of nervous wannabes in american idol (and all other copycat shows), the skeptic of talent shows, would be getting a number to wait for audition, just so to score a place as a "recording artiste" in church!

ahh. wells, i told myself i would never want to do such a thing in the public if i could help it.
i can present a proposal. i can speak in front of others. i can sing with a small group. i can harmonise and add strength to a group of singers.
but to sing, with eyes looking at me ALONE? not exactly my cup of frappucino!


favourite food: mom's cooking
that's what we like to write in our primary 5/6 friends' autograph book under the section "personal data"/"biodata" (under the "poems for you" section, we write "roses are red, violets are blue" poems).
but it seems like most people never meant it because at that age, we ONLY eat what our moms cook. of course that's our favourite! who at 11 or 12 knows geylang tau huay or boon tong kee chicken rice? WE DON'T KNOW.
but, for me, i have a mom who cooks well... and among my favourite foods, most of them are her works. here are her famous dishes:

1. linguine aglio olio, topped with bacon bits, sausage, tomatoes and green peppers (it was me who urged her to cook it recently)
2. braised duck (we always have it during cny)
3. curry chicken with many soft-but-not-soggy potatoes (she cooks it for the occasional family gatherings)
4. century egg scallop porridge (i like to eat it with when i'm sick. it's just pure comfort)
5. black pepper beef slices with capsicums (i love beef since young and this dish is what preserved my love for beef)

oh no. i am getting out of hand! i talk more about food than important issues like global warming, politics and karl marx!
shallow marshmallow.

toxic boy
thanks to a brother, sarah and i got a quirky book entitled the melancholy death of oyster boy & other stories by tim burton (the same guy who directed charlie and the chocolate factory and corpse bride) for our birthdays.
interestingly, this book of poetry features strange characters like Staring Girl, The Boy with Nails in His Eyes, Melonhead... each with their own bitterly poignant, often cruelly funny stories.
it's a really short book and in less than half an hour, i finished everything.

but when i delve deeper to think about all these characters, i realise these weird characters somewhat represent the outcasts of society. these characters, in their stories, are not accepted or sometimes, mocked by people who are "normal" because of their strange physical features or mental/emotional disabilties.
looking at our real life, how often have we excluded people who are different from us physically/mentally?

well, that's for us to ponder.

among all characters, my favourite is TOXIC BOY!
"to those who knew him
- his friends -
we called him Roy.
to others he was known
as that horrible Toxic Boy.

he loved ammonia and asbestos,
and lots of cigarette smoke.
what he breathed in for air
would make most people choke!
...

one day for fresh air
they put him in the garden.
his face went deathly pale
and his body began to harden.

the final gasp of his short life
was sickly with despair.
whoever thought that you could die
from breathing outdoor air?

as roy's soul left his body,
we all said a silent prayer.
it drifted up to heaven
and left a hole in the ozone layer."

it was an unexpected ending which left me smiling because even his death was so environmentally damaging!
such irreverent treatment of death! hahahaha

desserts iCrave-
1.yam paste or fondly known as orh nee - who knows where can one get the best orh nee?
2. bread and butter pudding
3. irish cream souffle
4. sweet potato chng tng
5. mom's red bean soup!

the sweet tooth syndrome returns!

happy tummy
just had a good dinner at dian xiao er with my parents and nainai to celebrate dad's 55th. sarah couldn't make it unfortunately because she had to give tuition. sigh..
the food's decent and better than expected, especially their "ten wonders" roast duck. Mmm.

i've aged
for the past week, i've been looking into the mirror and thinking wah.. what is this hagged old woman doing inside my mirror?
i am plagued with hideous dark eyebags.
blame it on the mid-term essay assignments and quizzes/tests that i have to write and study for. i've been sleeping late and waking up early. tedious.
the lecturers seem to want to fry our brains till they shrivel before giving us the precious one week break to recuperate. blaaah.
anyway. one more paper to go tomorrow and i'll be better!

next week is all planned
monday: crusade's family day @ sentosa which i am organising. slap on the sunblock!
tuesday: tuition + prayer meeting
wednesday: spring cleaning + welcoming uncle richard at the airport.
thursday: jc girlfriends' day!
friday: two tuition classes + study + catch up on readings
weekend: church + probably meeting up with vineet? + study!


i'm chocolatified by swiss pralines now!

my take on recent news

#1 ns man dave teo ming got caught at cineleisure with a rifle
my take: stupid act. dave, you could have just left your rifle behind the camp and ran away. at least, that won't land you in the PUBLIC jail and you would be spared the inconvenience of lugging a heavy rifle around.

#2 nude pictures of vanessa anne hudgens (who acted as a geeky science student) from high school musical were splashed on the internet.
my take: such photos must be purposely circulated by spin doctors to generate publicity for the popular show. disney is not squeaky clean after all. oh yes, this must also be done to attract another group of audience - pubescent boys.

#3 t.t durai, ex-ceo of NKF has been employed by a real estate company and is reportedly paid 25k per month.
my take: next career booster for durai - be the ambassador for the yellow ribbon project.


i tried to argue with karl marx
and i realised we were not talking about the same things.
karl marx once said "religion is the opium of the masses".
when i learned about this quote in my class, i began generating arguments and reasoned that more or less, people do need an emotional crutch, a sort of reliance for life's problems.
i concluded that my faith in God can be said as an "opium" as i constantly need Him to guide me in my life.
nothing wrong isn't it?

and then, at yesterday's prayer meeting, as i prayed, God revealed to me that i have been thinking in the wrong line.
i do not rely on my faith in God like a desperate addiction.
no. it's not like that. God is not merely an entity which i depend on for help.
it's not a one-sided affair where i only beg Him to help me solve my problems. in fact, God and i have a relationship, and a personal one to add. it's two-way.

with this actualization, i was liberated.

and i open it

dainty mooncakes from dynasty (董宫)! they are gifts from nainai's church friend. yum!

my 20th was...

it was really hard to take a photo of this guy because i had to pretend that i was taking a picture of sarah while she faked a pose.

notice the punchline?

well, you see, his uniform reads "ajisen noodle; staff; since 1968" and it seems like he IS A STAFF SINCE 1968! lol.

why he is a staff since 1968

theory one: the position of an ajisen staff is heriditary from their fathers and this honourable uniform was passed down to him from the previous generations.

theory two: he has to be at least 29 years old. judging from his looks, he doesn't look 29 so, this says that he must have been a staff there since he was a foetus! wow, ajisen guy, i heart you for your utmost loyalty.

powerful men in white, on scooter
i was sitting at the bus stop last night, waiting for a bus to get to my student's place when i noticed two very dashing men in white, riding their trusty scooter.
the traffic police.

they made a u-turn, drove to the street opposite me and began booking the vehicles that were illegally parked at the side of the road. a few cars with drivers inside frantically drove off.
boy, you should have seen how some drivers pleaded with these men. i was thoroughly amused.
they were all apologetic and terribly flustered.
one driver even clasped his hands together as he begged for mercy.

it was pretty good entertainment before i head for some serious teaching.


two decades of life
when i was 10, i asked myself how i would be when i was 20. to me at that time, it was impossible to believe that 10 years would pass in a flash.
and so, here i am, turning 20!
in the same tradition, i'm going to imagine how i am going be like ten years down the road.

the year 2017 will be my glorious year of accomplishments.
by then, i'll be wiser.
i'll be more street-smart. less a klutz!
i'll be in a vocation that i enjoy and find passion in.
i would probably have gone on a few backpacking trips and soaked in the rich cultures of these places - with plenty of beautiful photos to show.
i'll find a higher dimension of confidence.

OooOo being 30 sure sounds exciting!

facebook's more fun than friendster!
fickle-minded me. i keep changing the reasons how i got to know my friends in facebook!
fickle-mindedness plagues me like a disease. ha.

as the Bible said, we work together as a body
very true. after today's worship practice, i realise how essential is it for ALL - guitarist, bassist, drummer and pianist - to be adept with their instruments. only when we are adept, can we then make beautiful music with certain chords, certain styles.
i'm grateful for our team today and i see how God has used us mightily in music.
it just dawned on me that we musicians for this sat's 2040 all grew up together in sunday school!
wow.

to say the truth, my best spiritual gift is in shepherding.
i wasn't particularly keen in music when i realised the difficulty in playing the piano for church.
however, as i learn with an obedient (and sometimes, struggling) heart, i witnessed God's grace in my piano playing.
i wouldn't say i'm fantastic now but it was certainly a huge change from the first time i played for service (oh i remember the days when i would only sustain chords on the keyboard. haha. booorrring.)!

i believe that when one humbly steps out to learn even though he/she doesn't have the "talent", one can do well in the end with God's abundant grace.

grooving to dreamgirls ost
simply fab.
bring on the brass and jazz!