I finished my last paper yesterday evening and went to the airport later to fetch Sarah home (She went to Taiwan for a vacation). I was feeling pretty ill by then, with a slight sore throat.
Woke up this morning with knives slicing my throat and a throbbing head.
Ya, my sore throat was THAT bad.

But actually, I'm still thankful that I only fell sick after my exams. Can't imagine if I were to have a dreadfully dry throat and cold, cold hands while studying. I don't think I would be able to study in the first place!

After popping a couple of Panadol and a short prayer just now, I feel so much better. That's why I'm blogging.

Nothing to do now... Liberation from exams is overrated. It deadens me to be at home with nothing much to do. Shall read and read and read novels to keep myself occupied until I start my holiday job next week.

Thank God I'm quite well now... Going for worship practice later!

A whirlwind of emotions just ravaged through my mind after hearing and knowing many things today. I realise everyone is facing problems.
Problems that are real, not superficial (ie. not having enough clothes to wear, not being able to get a reservation at Dempsey Road's PS Cafe... you get the gist).

It was something which I never felt before. I felt poignant. Or maybe in teen-speak - emo. But my feelings far surpass "emo-ness". It was helplessness and deep sobriety that overwhelmed me.

I realise all of us have problems with ourselves, our family or our friends.
Sometimes,they're shameful and shocking, and we would really want to hide them all deep down inside, seal them up in our hearts with extra strong tape, pretend that nothing has ever happened and go on smiling and joking with your friends, when inside of you, you feel the hurt and pain.
And they haunt you, mock you, berate you for being a coward.

Man always strive hard to please or impress others, that is why we act and pretend and hide. Any form of weaknesses are condemned.

But at the end of the rat race, what's next?

Ultimately, it dawned on me that all we need are people around us who are willing to listen, to share and to pray together.

That even when our most vulnerable sides are revealed, they would not condemn us.
That when ugly family skeletons in the closet are exposed, we are not afraid of being judged negatively.

Many from today's world would not understand. They judge and criticise according to the standards of the world.

But our Lord Father in heaven does not, and that's what made the difference.

I wish I could tear down my facade. I wish I could break down my emotional barriers and be vulnerable to others.

One day, I would bare my all.
Until this day comes, I shall learn gradually to be open and to accept the fact that we all have problems. Every family has a problem.
I will learn not to be ashamed to speak of my family problems or my own weaknesses.

I will, with my Lord guiding me how to.
I'm sure life would be much easier to go through when we finally gain acceptance - not because we are super rich or super smart or super high on the corporate ladder, but because we are who we are.

I have been tagged by Denise to this. A quick get-to-know-me survey is always fun!







The first one is my original picture.

The last one is a dig at consumerism. Notice the coloured Starbucks logo. "Let there be light on CONSUMERISM" hahaha.

By the way, the rocker chick is our very own Sihui!

I know I know... Studying is imperative. But venting out my frustration is essential too.
I want to lament!
A couple of black birds have been flying into my house, wrecking havoc in my kitchen. They mess up everything in my kitchen! Take my food and sometimes they fight.
What they do is they EAT, SHIT and LEAVE!!
They bring in sticks and seeds into my balcony as well, and Mom said that they are planning to build a nest.
!!!!!!! BUILD A NEST?!

I have been wiping their disgusting, wet (and sometimes yellowish) shit from the floor for the past few days. Sometimes I think they had a bad case of diarrhoea.

I am not a fan of black birds.
If John Mayer were to fly in, and he eats, shits and leaves, I'll gladly welcome him. But the black birds? NO.

Nowadays, the kitchen is dark. Because we have closed the windows so that they would not fly in.
What a sad, dark kitchen I have now.
But at least it's safe from the mess.

Okay, 2 more papers before liberation comes! One on 25th and the last one on 29th!

Foodie's Alert!
I have found the perfect Subway meal!
It's turkey breast, in a wrap with sweet onion sauce!
Yummy yummy. Plus point: the sweet onion sauce is fat-free.

Going to grab one when I go to school. Yes, NTU has Subway now, FINALLY.
New kids in the block include Sakae, Canadian Pizza and Old Chang Kee :) :)

No more queuing only for (boring) McDonald's when I want a quickie!

***
I want to go back to Mind Cafe after my examination!
The last time I went with Ching, Denise and Van, we had so much fun trying different games at a reasonable price. I particularly enjoyed The Gift Trap and Ticket to Ride! More of such outings with everyone soon, during the holidays :)

Okay, I think I should stop blogging and start to focus on studying!
Blogging and http://www.watch-movies.net/ are such major distractions!!!

So I guess I'll be out of action in the blogosphere.
You readers, hereby are given permission to flood my tagboard with warnings/scoldings/fierce reminders if I write another redundant post.
This permission is only effective from now till 29 April 2008.

I just completed my last essay assignment for this semester!!!
Boy am I glad!

I am as happy as a lark now. Woohoo!
It's the end of the hectic week of project and essay deadlines. Time to get serious and study for my coming exams. But, well, this is at the back of my mind, for now because I am going to watch HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE, like NOW :D

Anyway, I'm really thankful for today's youth prayer meeting.Through the songs, I was encouraged to press on during this period of time, for He is my ever-present help.
Also, after listening to Teacher Anne's sharing about her entering into God's deepest chamber, talking to Him in such an intimate way that no one can intrude, I'm inspired. I desire to be in the deepest, most intimate chamber with my Lord alone, to see him face-to-face. It has been my prayer for these 2 weeks, and I must say God has been faithful :) :)

***
Got a call from my primary school friend who wanted to meet up, I think, a week ago. She's such an initiative friend and I would really want to catch up with her. But because of her irregular working hours (she's a pastry chef at Swissotel!) and my perpetually packed weekdays, I found it hard to fix a day.
I'm really proud of her though. She's going to Dubai in May for a food competition, representing Swissotel. I must meet her after she comes back.

***
I caught Becoming Jane, a biographical film of celebrated author Jane Austen, with Angie, Chuan and Sarah on Wednesday afternoon.
The ending made me cry so much.
BECAUSE THERE WAS NO HAPPY ENDING.
BECAUSE Jane and Thomas did not get together despite their intense love for each other :---(

That's why I hate tearjerker romance stories. They make me cry!