It's right after exams but now, I have to plan my timetable for next semester. Again.

It feels like yesterday that I was just beaming with pride after many painstaking nights of planning and coming up with THE brilliant timetable.

This semester, the modules offered are so dull I think watching my mom brush her teeth is more interesting.

Okay, maybe the module "Media and Society" offered this sem sounds great... but I've realised, the more interesting it sounds, the more difficult it is to score (Sociology of Food and Sociology of Tourism sounded fun but I didn't score very well for both of them).

I am now at a crossroad - to do something I can be good in, or to take something I like but know that I cannot score very well.
Public Administration, which may be easier for me to score because of Sociology background, or Communication Studies, where I am going to compete with the most brilliant mass comm students?

This is the dilemma of almost every university student. You want to do something you like but at the same time, you worry about your grades and so you choose a module that is easy to score.
But in the end, although you score well, you don't particularly enjoy it and you can't remember what your lecturer has taught you (except the part where he revealed he likes char kway teow).

Or you may choose to do something you like (The maxim "Passion keeps you alive" doesn't apply here), and in the end, it's so difficult to score, you end up with a bad grade that pulls your entire GPA down.

Despite these misgivings, I am still sure that no matter how dull, how dry, how difficult the module is, there is always something I can learn and bring back to apply in my daily life and to wow people at the table with these nuggets of facts.

I am probably going to choose a Communication Studies module.

Okay, back to planning my Perfect Timetable!

Come home running
His arms are open wide
His name is Jesus
He understands
He has the answer you are looking for
So come home running
Just as you are

- Chris Tomlin's Come Home Running

I am currently reading Max Lucado's "Traveling Light" on Psalm 23.
When I was younger, under Mom's tutelage, my sis and I would memorise Psalm 23 (Good News Bible version). This psalm has always been head knowledge for me.

Until now.

Feeling inadequate and downcast for these past few days got me thinking about this psalm and this book really helped me prepare for this situation. I felt like I was in my deepest, darkest valley in my serving and well, ya, for exams.

But with this book, head knowledge turned into heart medicine.
Every phrase in the psalm, as explained in this book, made so much sense and helped me find rest. I was able to turn my gaze on God's guidance instead of my own limitations.

Now, I confidently can say I am out of my deepest valley because He led me through it.

Yes, I don't give depression and the dying spirit a chance to grow their roots within me.

***
Anyway, a session at Mind Cafe Clarke Quay can do wonders to my soul.
I laughed so much and boy, the adrenaline rush for some games got my almost-numb brain up and running again.

Thanks Van for organising this gathering and...
Denise, Ching, ASK, Benjamin and Andy, you all are great fun to have around too! They are a really great bunch of people to hang out and play games with. Super hyper and entertaining!

Hopefully we can have another session soon before our NTU matric card loses its validity at Mind Cafe ;)

Breast milk - the liquid rich in nutrients, packed with all the essential vitamins, filled with natural goodness and blood.
Yea disgusted now, aren't you?

I feel the urge to discuss about breast milk now because I am afraid I'll forget about it later.

I don't know what we were talking about but suddenly, Angie, Sarah and I began talking about breast milk while on the train.

According to Sarah, breast milk contains trails of blood and can be seen when the mother expressed the milk and fills them in the bottle. I was like... I threw my most disgusted look at her and my frown stayed there for quite some time. Trails of blood in milk?!

What I heard next was frightening enough to make a horror movie.

According to Angie, breast milk, when left to stand for some time, will turn into blood.
Turn. Into. Blood.
Everybody in unison: Eeewwwwww.

The image of vampire-like babies comes to mind if I see them get nursed by their moms.
Terrible.

It's a horror film!

Is it really true that breast milk will turn into blood after a while? But why?

Lessons learned on the later half of the year

1) Never ever talk about sensitive issues via sms. I end up with the wrong tone and end up hurting someone else :(

2) It's comforting to plan for a short getaway with close, like-minded friends. I want just to get away from Singapore! (Lil and Mich, I can't wait! Good local food...)

3) Coffee Bean and Cedele's American carrot cakes are the best. They are moist and dense. Yum!

4) Finding rest in God is not about breaking away from everything, escaping elsewhere where you can shirk all your responsibilites.
It's about being able to feel rested after a hard day's work and know that you don't have to strive too hard or waste time worrying about things that probably won't even happen.

5) I need fellowship in church every week for I will do (or say) stupid things

6) I miss the presence of my JC girlfriends. We usually meet up at least once every 1.5 months. Absence does make the heart fonder.

7) I am OLD already (Over lunch today, after church service, I realise I am the Sesame Street, SBC, TCS-generation. Xinyi, Priscilla, Minmin, Nellis are the Mediacorp, Teletubbies-generation. You get the drift.)!

8) Learning a language can only be fun and meaningful with a good friend around. Thanks Ching! We survived French!

Happy Holidays everyone!
Make it a good and meaningful one :)

God has been so good.

I wanted to keep all the problems I faced just this past week to myself and carry them alone.
After all, these problems aren't exactly a good reflection of me. They showed my vulnerable side.

But I thank God for today's (Saturday 2040) worship. I took down my jovial mask immediately when I settled in the sanctuary. One afternoon of facework was tiring.
I told God I wanted to be real before Him. No use hiding.
When I made the decision to praise our Lord and not wallow in self-pity on my frustration and disappointment, suddenly I caught a glimpse of hope.

Most importantly, I thank God for my brothers and sisters in church. Because when I took the first step to share openly about what I've been feeling just this week about my Teens cell and my exam preparation, they were all so supportive and encouraging. I thought they wouldn't bother with my sharing, but I was wrong. They dropped me smses and offered me advice and support.

Zhenghua shared that we may be fighting many losing battles in our lives right now, but ultimately, we will win because Christ has already overcome all these with his resurrection! Why focus on the small losing battles when we should be looking forward to the eventual victory?

I took the first step to share my struggles, and that's what matters.

Acknowledging my weakness is the first step not to humiliation, but to liberation.

Just came back from the farewell dinner for Yunjian (he better flies off or else we'll feel quite silly throwing this farewell. Hahaha).

Decided to delete a previous blog post.
Too emotionally-charged, so it's not meant for the public sphere.

Anyway, have a great weekend, friends (though it's mugging time for most of my friends)! :)

My recent French exam paper was such a killer.

When I looked at the paper, I was thinking, is this GREEK??!

I was totally taken aback because it was really difficult. There were new verbs and new nouns. The format was foreign - they didn't have the familiar things which were tested in previous semesters.

It didn't help that it was an evening paper and I had another soci paper in the afternoon before it. Lethargy pulled my mood down. Hunger pangs were acute at that time too.

Halfway through the paper, I thought I saw Napoleon waving at me - I was semi-dead.
It's too difficult. I'm going to dieeeeeee...

This French paper is definitely set by my strict French tutor because the comprehension passage was about Bruxelles (Brussels in French) and my tutor is from Belgium.

To say the truth, I didn't study much for French because I had more important core modules to study for and since I already S/U it (meaning that the grade's not included in my graduation transcript), I couldn't be bothered. So well, I guess, it's partly my fault.

I hope my other French tests/assignments can pull up my overall grade, or else I would have to "da bao"**!! I need at at least a C.

**Da bao= In NTU, if you fail a particular subject, you will have to retake it the next semester. I'm not sure why we call it "da bao". I think it's because you take away this subject and you are forced to "eat it" the next semester.

Conversations at the dinner table during Godma's birthday celebration just this past Sunday

Sarah: Why did you bring Uno for this dinner?
Sheryl (my primary four cousin): It's for a game. Let's play "Stress" (apparently it's the latest game primary school kids like to play)!
Me: Life is stressful enough. If you let me play "Relax", I will consider playing it with you.

****
Aunty Susan: Did you all catch High School Musical 3: Senior Year?
Angie: No, we haven't. But I really want to watch it!
Samuel: I want to watch the next sequel - High School Musical 4: Retain.

I grew to love Pickles after reading this comic strip every Sunday on newspaper. It circles around the lives of two retirees living together with their daughter's family. They have a grandson, Nelson who is around 5 to 6 years old and looks up to his grandpa a lot.

This strip is officially on par with my other favourites, Baby Blues, Foxtrot and Sherman's Lagoon.

Here are some strips I personally like.
Life cannot be THAT bad.

When some things are not within my control, when they make me upset, worried, and threaten to make me lose hope - i'll just leave them to God, pray more and laugh more.

If there's one thing I would like to have now, it wouldn't be having 25 hours in a day.
No, that would be stupidity. No way am I going to prolong my agony.

Instead, I want my brain to work so fast that I can get my last two essays done in less than 24 hours. I need to start my revision for my paper on Gender and Sexuality as well as French. Both are on 12 November.

25 hours
Yes to efficiency!

I just completed my 2000-word contemporary social theory essay!
It is no mean feat since I only came home at about 11pm after prayer meeting.
Thank God!

Now, I have two more essays to finish until my exams next Wednesday!

I really can't wait to blog about my everyday observations and thoughts, instead of blog about the sad progress of my essay writing. Sigh.